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Do You Tango or Do You Rock?
I have noticed in my practice and in my life that couples usually dance the
same dance.
If one dances the tango, the other follows along. And often, one partner
complains about the other forcing them to tango.
When coupled with a lover, are you responsible for their emotions and
expectations?
Not at all.
The more you accept that the other person loves to tango (or is used to
tangoing exclusively)
the more you can accept that it is alright to let them tango while you
choose to rock and roll!
Also, it is quite acceptable to allow the other person to perform his/her
own "inner dance".
For years my husband always complained while doing chores. It was as if he
adopted some "poor me" role, and at first this annoyed me. I was tempted to
dance his tango.
But with inner work, I came to a place where I absolutely knew that emotions
are the results of thoughts, and that thoughts can change very easily after
all--especially when you utilize a few tools.
And I realized that there are thousands of thoughts (dances) from which to
choose. Everyone, when aware, can do that.
We can all choose to find a more enjoyable step through our thought choices,
no matter what the situation.
So now I simply tell him, "You are welcome to choose thoughts that make you
feel like a victim, but remember:
you may also change these thoughts."
So, enjoy!
No thought is "rock-solid" and "real". I consistently observe this in my
practice.
One moment someone thinks and feels negatively--and would swear that this is
the only possible way to observe or experience a situation;
a few minutes later, they often find that they are totally content and at
peace with the issue, realizing that a thought is not concrete. It is
totally subject to change, allowing solutions to arise that were previously
not visible.
Unfortunately, we frequently live our lives as if our perceptions were
"reality" and that nothing else could exist or manifest for us.
So when he so chooses, I let him tango alone. And I go about my day...
rocking out on my own!
Sometimes, the partner realizes that the tango is a lonely solo dance, and
they make another selection.
Or the person may dance on alone... but who cares? You are rock'n rolling!
Warmly,
Colette Streicher, LMSW
PS: For more articles from Colette
go to : http://creationmastery.com
click on Archives.
PSS: For more information about Colette's M-Power book and other products
go to :
http://creationmastery.com/bookstore.html
(c) 2007 Colette Streicher. All rights reserved
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